Hands Clean

As a big Alanis fan I loved 'Hands Clean' and as I have neglected my fans on social media for a long time (but not in my heart and mind) I thought it was time I explained.

Recording my 'Bed ' album last year and the writing leading up to it was my way of throwing myself into my work after coming out of a friendship and feeling very broken. I won't say 'relationship' because it was one sided and meant much more to me than it deserved to, I just didn't realise for a long time, but nevertheless it took me a year to get over it all. So for most of last year I was hiding from standing still too long and moping forever so I and threw myself into anything and everything, and then went months in the opposite direction and became a social recluse even to my friends. I hated social media and the whole digital lifestyle, and still prefer real people and a human face and touch to digit dancing anyway. Nevertheless it's a good way to reach you all but I did I blame social media for ruining my life, but I'm over it now.

Two months ago I met someone else and decided to trust again, but the fun I had and finding I'm capable of sharing my real thoughts more than I had for ages, meant that I was distracted from writing and recording again for 'Anything Country'. Also I had to find myself additional day work to live and eat so that has meant even less time to do what I love.

Still with me so far? What i'm saying is I'm a real person with highly emotional feelings, so I do my best work when I put myself first and can focus on letting out what's in my heart. Whenever I was too happy it was always harder to write my best songs, I mean like nobody wants to hear "I'm so happy, I have the perfect lover and everything I want I get" as much as "You did me wrong, my heart is in pieces and now you're gone". Now my latest relationship didn't work out I'm kind of not even mad or sad or angry but I feel like I'm full of ideas again and ready to write with a smile and not through tears like when I was working on 'Bed'. I just wrote a rocking punk song in 5 minutes called 'That's what hurt me the most" but it's reflective not sad or angry and I was smiling when I just sang a guide track recording on my recording deck.

I'm saying thanks for your support and patience in waiting for my next album which I'm still breaking myself into pieces trying to get out in June. I have just about 10 songs, of which only four are recorded so far and I have a block of three days next week to try and finish three more to get back on course. I'm human and I keep a lot to myself but now I'm sharing the reasons for my roller coaster fall from social media with you, because some of you are probably like me and will get that. A brave face never won any prizes but taking time out to come back a bit wiser will hopefully put a new shine on my music. I no longer need anyone's approval but my own. I'm excited about this album and I can't wait to sing the vocals and let you hear it. I don't need to impress a future partner or friend anymore, i approve and that's all that matters and my hands are clean again.

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