Living in the moment

My latest album 'Crave' is now available (19 June) for download and/or streaming from Amazon. iTunes, Spotify, Google Play and many more. I will write about the experience and progress in my next post but today I wanted to say this because it resonated with me.

Just reading Taylor Momsen's Wiki entry (I love her voice and band 'The Pretty Reckless'). I had no idea she has been a Model, Actress and Singer. She says "Music is where I can be me. Acting is easy. I've been doing it for so long and I totally love it. But you're playing a character instead of yourself. Music is more personal because you're writing it and you're involved in every step of it."

I have been a model, actress and singer too and had to make a choice in October 2012 to do this for the same reason. I haven't achieved anywhere near her standard of experience and great work but my feelings are similar as an unsigned pretty unknown performer.

Acting is about living your character in the moment through yourself. Singing is about being naked in the moment living only as yourself. Music is also in my hands and I can play every day and indulge myself for hours writing songs and am happy letting out my unique feelings and thoughts. Acting is wonderful when you have a role to work towards and a partner to play to, but lonely when you are talking to yourself as somebody else reading monologues, and however hard you try to create an audience it is still just you and somebody else's words you are saying to the space or walls. You have to imagine the expressions and feedback. With music the feedback is in how my heart feels about what I am singing out loud as myself.

If I were acting every day I may never have picked up my guitar again, it is hard to do both. I did not make the choice because I had given up on acting or thought I had a go and was not good enough, just that I had the songs in my head and had to get them down and it took me over. I did not know I could confidently sing them either, until I had to as there was nobody to help me and I had started recording by then. Since then I have worked on singing and playing and learning piano so I am doing my best to live in the moment every day now.

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